A Therapist's Guide to the First 24 Hours of Your Break Up — Emilea Richardson

It came out of nowhere.

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Or just like you thought it would.

Or you’re just thankful it’s over now.

Embarking on the first twenty four hours of a break up is daunting. There are some who will treat it like any other Tuesday. Or like a black hole.

If I could guide you, kind soul, through the first twenty four hours of your break up. Whether you were the breaker or the break-ee. Whether it was out of the blue or a long time coming.

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Simple rules:

Don’t talk to your new ex. Just block them. For twenty four hours only. If they desperately want to get back together and it’s the right thing…they’ll want that tomorrow too.
Eat 3 meals and 2 snacks. If you can’t stomach that much, I suggest smoothies. Your body does need nourishment babe. It’s ok if it’s too hard to chew.
Don’t. Drink. I can’t stress this enough. This is all you’re gonna wanna do. It’s all I would wanna do. But here’s the thing - alcohol is a depressant. Alcohol is a mood destabilizer. And it lowers inhibition. You are not your highest self while drinking. You can drink tomorrow. But for the first twenty four hours, find other ways to numb and distract. Scroll your phone, go down a Netflix hole, buy adult coloring books, light all of your Anthropologie candles. Get your nose pierced, drive to the beach, roast and grind your own coffee beans, online shop. Just keep the alcohol for tomorrow.

Now that you’ve got the rules,

Here’s the plan

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Grab a sticky note.

Write - Breathe.

Put it some place you’ll see often.

Sometimes after a seismic change it can feel like time is flying by. Or slow like molasses. Either way breathing is important.

Your mantra today is breathe. Later you can have mantras with expletives. Or ‘this too shall pass.’

But today we’re going to keep it simple.

Breathe.

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Grab your phone

And think of a person in your corner you want to chat to. You don’t even have to tell them about the break up frankly. Just a person who will text you a funny meme. Or bring you coffee. Or wants to go to dinner. Someone who brings you light.

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Embrace the surf

There could be moments of unyielding feelings. There could be hours of feeling…well, nothing. When you start to feel anxious and tasky, write down a list. Maybe you need to move. Get your stuff. Mail back his stuff. Figure out what future plans are now changed.

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Get clean.

Take a shower. Or a bath. Whatever feels good!

Short and cold. Long and warm. Plain soap or bath bombs on bath bombs. Whatever. Feels. Good. And then…

Get dressed.

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The kind of clothes you’d normally go to Target in.

If that truly is sweatpants, than a-okay. But if it’s a matching shirt and leggings. Or high waisted jeans and a sweater. A fabulous dress. Clothing can sometimes help us feel 10% better. And 10% matters today.

And no matter if you’re in sweats or a ball gown, put on some lip balm. It’s that extra step of self care.

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Get moving.

Walk or get into child’s pose for 5 minutes.

Moving your body in some way is going to be so helpful for the avalanche of emotion you’re experiencing. Walking will help you remain calm. But if that seems too overwhelming, then please just get into child’s pose for five minutes.

Cry. Breathe. Shout. I don’t care. It’s a pose that offers restoration and kindness to your body. To yourself. And you deserve that.

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The Unknowable Stuff

Who knows if in the first twenty four hours you have to go to work. Or if you’re at home. Or neither at work or at home. But if you were my friend and I could coach you through the day…that’s what I would do.

And on hour 25 I’d bring you a bottle of wine and a fantastic pasta.

Find a Therapist

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If “Get a Therapist” was on your to do list, then let’s find a time to chat! Click the button and pick a day and time that works best for you. I won’t bring you wine…but I can give you some strong support and know how.

A Therapist’s Guide to the First 24 Hours of Your Break Up